Variety Views.

The problem is, I know myself too well. I know when I'm fucking myself over, and when I'm lying to me. I know when I'm being stubborn, when I'm being honest, and even when I'm being a flat-out asshole. I know myself too well, not to fall for my own bullshit. But I do. Willingy. Is it because I don't know how to control myself? Well I do have a very strong hands when it comes to taming myself, but nonetheless I fall for the same bullshit I make every single time.  Perhaps that's because I don't like the idea of being proved wrong. Proving myself wrong that is, not being called out by others. I can very much own up to my mistakes and apologize for them, but somehow that doesn't extended to me.  How can someone be so stupid and so righteous and even so wrong, all at the same time?! It's ironic. 

I went to bed one night, hoping one day that things will be better for me. I never really woke up the next morning. Neither dead nor alive, maybe stuck in a limbo or just thrown into oblivion willingly.  Nonetheless, when I was sort of awake I looked for you since you've had me with you. I gave you myself... But you were gone, gone with me. I've looked for you everywhere but you were nowhere to be found. So I kept looking for myself in me, but nothing was there, I was with you.  Long passed before I've found you, and when I did you were gone. Replaced with someone else, I do not know who this person is... And when I looked for myself in whatever is left of you, I found that I too was replaced.  Who am I? Who are you? Nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing is the same.  I've spent too long of time searching for myself in you when all along myself been within me. I've been oblivious to that fact. Maybe I didn't want to believe that one way or the other.  The